It's like God shit irony all over that family
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just gargled with NyQuil
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize