hell yes lets make some ravioli
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
