I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize