So drunk its hurt
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize