I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
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yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
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the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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