to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
