i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
