so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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