i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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