If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
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I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
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i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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