I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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