You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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