Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
