A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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