so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize