Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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