The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
