Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
