Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She told me I should be a condom model.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
