Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
