her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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