Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
