Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
