i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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