i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
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He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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