What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
