Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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