he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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