So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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