he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
