well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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