She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
