I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have aggressive nipples.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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