im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
