uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I didn't notice because vodka
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
