when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wish you could order shots online.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
