I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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