u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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