I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
