i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life