after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?