Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.

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  (978): i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night. http://tfl.nu/0hsp
  Replies (15) Good night (4373) Bad night (722)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."

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  (610): i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there." http://tfl.nu/12yv
  Replies (28) Good night (7057) Bad night (870)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'

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  (512): I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood' http://tfl.nu/xp6j
  Replies (14) Good night (2130) Bad night (7121)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.

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  (303): This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now. http://tfl.nu/jc3w
  Replies (25) Good night (1531) Bad night (5206)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me

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  (256): dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me http://tfl.nu/p9kn
  Replies (21) Good night (3769) Bad night (1287)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.

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  (316): If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already. http://tfl.nu/vt4q
  Replies (13) Good night (2947) Bad night (1098)
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  (631): View more from New York

  we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms

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  (631): we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms http://tfl.nu/2gis
  Replies (6) Good night (3252) Bad night (1112)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.

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  (859): If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference. http://tfl.nu/hvve
  Replies (4) Good night (2716) Bad night (744)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter

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  (231): I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck. (231): The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter http://tfl.nu/we4f
  Replies (10) Good night (660) Bad night (1882)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater

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  (717): Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater http://tfl.nu/z0ly
  Replies (3) Good night (533) Bad night (833)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"

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  (262): In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it" http://tfl.nu/19mj
  Replies (6) Good night (702) Bad night (1724)
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  (408): View more from California

  Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.

  (408): View more from California

  Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly

  (1-408): View more from California

  I approve this so hard.

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  (408): Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon. (408): Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly (1-408): I approve this so hard. http://tfl.nu/8gh1
  Replies (4) Good night (1405) Bad night (485)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.

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  (319): He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk. http://tfl.nu/n6v5
  Replies (0) Good night (460) Bad night (533)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i've gotta research that and get back to you.

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  (740): it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky. (419): i've gotta research that and get back to you. http://tfl.nu/7k7v
  Replies (1) Good night (731) Bad night (482)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS

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  (717): IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS http://tfl.nu/i9d5
  Replies (3) Good night (728) Bad night (369)

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