Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
That was an excessively violent trivia night
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable