Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.