I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
