First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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