Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
