I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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