Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize