I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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