I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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