Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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