Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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