if you like me you must not know who I am
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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