There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
