And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
