Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
