So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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