he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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