I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
These tits shall not be calmed
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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