Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
