I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
