I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
