I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
