if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
