im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.