They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster