Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
i've created a new STD.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26