All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
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Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
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what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie