Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
