you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY