"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?