I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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